Think Calm, Be Calm

Some of the ways I think about my life can work against my state of calm.
Being calm makes me feel rested, happy, more in tune with others - so if I make little decisions in each hour of each day that take me towards calm then my whole life will be  changed by all those little decisions creating a big difference.
To be practical - as I always try to be :) - here are some attitudes or practices that we can cultivate to attain greater calm.
Workshop participants with Ed and Deb Shapiro helped create this list of how to be happier and enjoy our lives.
1. Not to take yourself too seriously. At times of hardship, such as loss or illness, we can easily lose our humor, and even more easily get very involved with the negative aspects of what is happening. We become the center of our universe. Remembering not to take ourselves too seriously brings a lightness and ease to the weight of circumstance around us. Remember--angels can fly because they take themselves lightly!
2. Not to identify with suffering, loss, or illness, as being who you are. Many of our participants realized how they were identifying themselves as a cancer survivor / widow / recovering addict, or whatever it may be, but had not asked themselves who they were without that label or identity. When we do not identify with the negative label, then the positive sense of who we are has a chance to emerge and shine.

3. It's OK to be you, just as you are, warts and all. We may think we are imperfect, a mess, falling apart, hopeless, or unable to cope. But true perfection is really just accepting our imperfections. It is honoring ourselves, complete with all the things we like and the things we don't like. In this way we are not struggling with or rejecting any part of ourselves. Each one of us is unique, a one-time offer, but we cannot know it if we are facing away from ourselves.
4. Make friends with yourself. Our relationship with ourselves is the only one we will have for the whole of our lives, and we can be the greatest friend to ourselves. So it is very important not to put ourselves down or beat ourselves up. As Ed happily used to sing in early Elementary school:
I love myself, I think I'm grand,
I go to the movies and hold my hand.
I put my arm around my waist,
And when I get fresh I slap my face!
5. Feel everything, whatever it may be. When we are suffering, our feelings get huge and can be overwhelming. It is easy to want to deny or repress them. But if we can really honor whatever we are feeling, then it will bring us closer to the happiness beneath the suffering or grief. Acknowledging our real feelings is the greatest gift.
6. Forgive yourself. Love yourself. Treasure yourself. These are big steps, but each one liberates the heart and sets us free. We need to forgive ourselves for feeling angry, for getting upset, for all things we think we have done wrong. They are in the past and we are not who we were then. We can then begin to embrace and love ourselves, for we are so worthy of that love. And then we can take any resistance or fear by the hand, invite it in, and open our heart to the universe.
7. Meditate. There is an overwhelming amount of research showing how meditation changes the circuits in the part of the brain associated with contentment and happiness and stimulates the 'feel-good' factor. Meditating on love and kindness makes us much, much happier! And the only way to know this is to try it!!