The Elephant in the Room

Aaaah the calm that comes from not acting or reacting....

Instead of creating unease in my life, acting out of blind compulsion, I can find peace by looking at my motivations. Instead of reacting I can ask: Why am I reacting this way? Instead of doing, I can ask: Why am I doing this? Observing. Reflecting. Being still. It is not easy but I am learning that non-action can be very satisfying. Not buying that thing. Not rushing ahead. Not jumping to that conclusion.
Often it seems like I have been here before... it's the traffic thing, it's the dishes thing, it's the queue thing. Same old, same old.
How can it be that I have so many problems coming from the same place yet I haven't stopped to think about the source? This article from Michael Formica on the Integral Options site is a great insight into how we can find the source of many of our issues. especially like this this section of the article...
If we find ourselves consistently confronted by the same circumstance - money issues, or destructive relationships, or the inability to hold onto a job - instead of saying, "Oh, look, it happened again.", we might be better served by stepping back from the situation and asking, "How'd that happen again?".

Key to this is doing so with humility. None of us is immediately inclined to take responsibility for things, least of all ourselves or our circumstances. The freedom that comes with doing so, however, is astonishing, because, in this, the smoke and mirrors (read: ego) disappear, and we are left with nothing but the truth of the thing - our truth, our thing. This is tattva.
Let's talk about money. I have an acquaintance who makes a very good living and has done so for many years. She has also lost a house, had 2 cars repossessed, is constantly getting her cell phone turned off, owes and owes and owes, and is always broke. She does not, despite her financial troubles, have a money problem - she has an entitlement problem. She is so fixated on having what she "deserves", based on her self-perception and her need to be perceived in a certain way, that she overspends to accommodate herself. By not seeing the tattva -- the One Truth -- within this system of chaos, she simply perpetuates it.
The One Truth here is not that she overspends, nor is it that she has entitlement issues. It's that she is insecure and, lacking a mechanism of self-validation or valuation, seeks that validation and valuation through the reflection of others, based on her "stuff". Should she someday figure out that a $500 pair of Chanel sunglasses doesn't make her more lovable, she will then have the opportunity to approach the tattva of this particular system and overcome the obstacle that she, herself, repeatedly creates.