Noticing Nice - with thanks to Kurt Vonnegut

I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, "If this isn't nice, I don't know what is."

"Knowing What's Nice", an essay from In These Times (2003)

This quote startled me the first time I came across it and it always serves to wake me up. I often say it and feel the benefits of the additional awareness and the pause that it creates for me.

But the first time I tried it,  I thought I had jinxed us! 

It was a perfect autumn day, a Sunday morning and I was out for a walk with my husband and son. Our boy Reuben was keen to ride his scooter so we went down to a park where there is a basketball court perfect for some scooting. 

With the sun warming my face I sat and watched Reuben scooting figure 8’s while Neil threw the ball for our dog.  It was good at that point but it was about to get great… I peeled my mandarin. Then I ate a segment.

This was no ordinary mandarin. This was a Fantastic Mandarin. As I sat and savoured its tangy sweetness, together with the crisp clean air, the warming sun, the spaciousness and peace of the moment, I just had to invoke the spirit of Mr Vonnegut.

So I called out to Neil, “Well, if this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is!” 

We embraced the moment.  It was all it could be. Aaaaaaaah.

And then. 

A piercing, seemingly endless scream shattered the peace. Casting aside my mandarin I ran to the crumpled boy who was hollering against the pain – and hurling fury at the damn stick that brought his scooter down.  

Again his head was bleeding. Shortly afterwards we were being whisked through casualty where we spent the rest of the day. That was not nice.

But don’t let this deter you.

In the style of Mr Vonnegut, I have noticed nice on many occasions. And it really works. 

Try it. You’ll like it. It is nice. And calming!

Deep Breathing - creates calm and clarity

One of the daily practices for my Choosing Calm project is deep breathing. Until recently I had no idea how my life could change simply as a result of being conscious with my breathing.

It's fantastic - simple, transportable and free (as well as freeing). 

For the traffic snarl or the interruption of sleep by your busy mind, turning to deep breathing can be a life saver. But don't just save it for the difficult moments, use it to enhance the good times as well.  

I'm leaving little reminders to make sure I focus on deep breathing several times a day and I can really feel the difference.

My guru in this has been Dr Andrew Weil who wrote Optimal Health which is a great book - more on this later.

Here is his very useful guide to some essential breathing exercises....

Three Breathing Exercises

"Practicing regular, mindful breathing can be calming and energizing and can even help with stress-related health problems ranging from panic attacks to digestive disorders."
Andrew Weil, M.D.
Since breathing is something we can control and regulate, it is a useful tool for achieving a relaxed and clear state of mind. I recommend three breathing exercises to help relax and reduce stress: The Stimulating Breath, The 4-7-8 Breathing Exercise (also called the Relaxing Breath), and Breath Counting. Try each and see how they affect your stress and anxiety levels.
Exercise 1:
The Stimulating Breath (also called the Bellows Breath)
The Stimulating Breath is adapted from a yogic breathing technique. Its aim is to raise vital energy and increase alertness.

Serenity Now!

This cartoon is from http://www.savagechickens.com/
Pretty much sums it up for me. Being preoccupied with getting something is that it often remains out of reach. Calm seems to me to be like a timid creature (or a poorly trained dog like the one I live with) the more you run after it the more elusive it becomes. So I'm starting this project with an approach that is quiet and still. The hope is that calm will come and sit in my lap. I've set the intention and I'm also taking action but maybe I will have more success if I start by realising that calm is probably going to be a visitor rather than a constant presence. Softly, softly.